Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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