Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
