Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
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