My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
