i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
