dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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