Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
