Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
