I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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