You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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