Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
