And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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