maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
