I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
this is an emotional support booty call
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
