I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
