who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
