he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
