youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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