I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
