What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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