You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
