I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
