So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
