I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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