You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
