the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
