I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
