i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
