I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
