I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
