For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
