Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
