Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
