yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
