Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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