he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
