She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
