Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
