So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
