what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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