so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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