Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
