What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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