The maid of honor just puked.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
