no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
