we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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