No stitches, just platelets and will power
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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