I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
