My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
