Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
