I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
