He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We have started to decorate penises.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
