Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
