fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
