you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
