Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
