Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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