i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
