found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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